Dingo's Hamster Watch - Big Brother 5

"Position the habitat of your hamster somewhere light and airy,
away from drafts, heaters, direct sunlight and other pets.
Never put it on or near a television, radio or hi-fi or a fridge."

This site isn't about who should win, who will win, who I'd be friends with, or who is cute. It's about watching hamsters: which ones are doing what and why. Which are fun and which are dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! More to come, bookmark & come back! .. that dingo

Linkage

Daily feed recaps & opinion ratings navigation tool for this often-biased site
HamsterWatch Big Brother 8 here we go again
HamsterWatch Big Brother 7 Hamster all-stars in the house
HamsterWatch Big Brother 6 time to do it all over again
CBS Big Brother 5 the official site
Housecalls live web show with Marcellas, also archived shows
TV Updates feed updates, screencaps, and fun boards - easy to use and functional!
bb5fan's 30 second refresh screencaps if you don't have feeds (great at work!)
Hollyisms and Cowboyisms and Lisa-isms from me, that dingo person
Sir LinksALot Big Brother 5 all the links
Reality TV Links emphasis on individual hamsters' sites
Aldav has all of the edgier stuff & the best mini-recaps in town (alternate url)
Today's must-click special: Grin's BB5 Park: Day 60 from Jokers
Bonus must-click special: Smart dog video makes hamsters look really dumb - from Squizzle

8/30/04 - Day 60, part 2 >> to the future >> dwell in the past >> latest
<< power-down - back to part 1

Grilled hamsters

Drew doesn't know where to start with dinner.. Cowboy offers to help
He shows him how to make the patties.. how to light the grill.. how to cook them..

The girls prepare the burger fixings.. they talk about the game, about Marvin
Drew takes a spin with the spatula.. they talk about the game, about Marvin

(the girls agree to 'backdoor' Marvin next week.. Diane says she had a nightmare)
Diane: I feel so awful.. I never felt so bad making fun of anyone before
Diane (looking out the window): How long does it take for two idiots to make hamburgers?
....
Drew: Marvin's been a total jackass this week
Cowboy: That week he wouldn't let me win HOH I lost all respect for him
Drew: Next week it'll just be 3 guys and 3 girls! Diane really wants Marvin out
Cowboy: I'm actually liking Marvin this week
Drew: See if she looks at me

Diane comes out to see how it's going, and to supervise.. Marvin comes over too

Marvin: So cowboy did the grilling?
Cowboy: Nope, Drew did it.. I just helped a bit

Dating on steroids

Burgers are done.. Adria joins them but doesn't speak during dinner
After they all tease Drew & Diane cuz he's always saying "my ex-girlfriend this" "my ex-girlfriend that" "uh-oh, look out Diane!" Adria joins in pleasantly, conversationally

Adria: So how long have you two been dating?
(they all do the math)
Adria: So what are y'all gonna do when one of you leaves?
(no real answers.. Drew's eating burger #3)
Adria: Y'all got plans for after here?
(Drew says they live near each other and hope to meet up, go to a club in Cincinnati)
Adria: I was just kinda wondering how close y'all are.. cuz during the day you hate each other.. so at night you make up? and talk?
(they say it's different, not like anything normal, being together 24/7)
Drew: This is like dating on steroids
Diane: But we don't get on each other's nerves
Adria: 24/7 together and never get on each other's nerves? hmm
Diane: Nope, he never gets on my nerves.. all my ex-boyfriends did
Drew: Sometimes she gets on mine a little
Nik: Yes he does get on your nerves! Especially when he calls you the c-word!
Drew: Instigator!
Adria: I see, now you got a lil triangle going on.. Nakomis knows more than you do
Diane: He doesn't get on my nerves, I'm sorry! But he doesn't!

Adria talks to Drew at the sink.. Diane follows when she leaves..
another glass breaks.. they all go back outside to cards

Adria: Y'all aren't keeping any secrets.. it's not like nobody knows
Drew: I'm not gonna be kissing her in front of you all.. and the way Marvin's always in there, trying to provoke..
Adria: (laughs) Yea, he's funny
....
Diane: Why was she in your face over here? So did I answer all those questions ok?? You could've stepped in! 'Going to a club in Cincinnati'? You made it sound like that's all we're gonna do after this! You don't get on my nerves, is that so bad?? What is it I do that gets on your nerves??!!

They chit-chat mostly about euchre, playing and learning the game.. Karen & Marvin aren't playing, they float in and out.. Adria says just two words then nothing more, and just watches Diane.. booze delivery comes right on cue.. even when they all go inside to pee or refill Adria doesn't leave her post.. the tension is tangible

Drew: I guess only time she gets on my nerves is when she gets cocky..
Adria: Diane? Cocky?
Diane: Somebody's about to get a foot up their ass

They break between games, everyone's sipping a lot.. they talk about families..
Adria keeps watching Diane.. out of the blue Diane blurts out some major stuff
and starts crying - it's real, not an act

Diane:
If I could have my bad attitude removed, I would
My mom's my best friend, my dad's my best friend, my sister hates everyone.. she thinks everyone's out to get her
My parents divorced a year ago.. if I have nothing to do in the afternoon, I go over to my dad's and we go out drinking
(her dad has a girlfriend, who has '4 to 5 daughters - they're all bitches'.. she tells how she met her dad's girlfriend by surprise)
..and this woman I've never seen before comes over and just plants one on him..
That was the worst day of my life
(Diane cries as she tells this.. there's a very awkward silence)

Marvin motions for Drew to come over, which he does.. he seems shocked..
Marvin breaks the tension with some comic relief and a change of subject..
Diane's not quite done, she blurts out again during an entirely different conversation

Marv: Well now, we don't need to get into all that here
(they talk about something different)
Diane: My dad's suicidal though.. I've had to put him in the hospital several times
Diane: I'm the one who does all of that! I'm the only one who does fucking anything in my family!
Diane: I don't mind talking about all that.. they've all signed releases

They play more cards.. the siren keeps going off in the background..
Diane says "I don't like that noise, it parannoys me"
Turns out it's Adria playing it.. who says "It isn't shocking me"

Aftershocks

Adria goes to bed.. the rest are pretty toasted by now but keep drinking..
Diane's all over the map emotionally - chatting, laughing, crying.. without visible transitions.. Marvin appears with a comical nerd/Urkel/Drew act

Diane: That fucking bitch!
Diane: I'm the family black sheep.. I'm also the only one doing anything with my life!
Nik: Somebody's mouthing again
Diane: Aww the twin went to bed, should I go kiss and make up?
Marv: You were very rude to her this evening

Cowboy: Diane said she was playing you back at the beginning.. I don't know if she has actual feelings for you now or not, but A was in her original alliance, you know
....
Diane: That fucking bitch! Just her opening her mouth makes me second guess where we're going.. dating on steroids? What the fuck does that mean??
Drew: We'll be fine..
Diane: So why couldn't you say that to her??

They decide to play Shock The Hamster some more.. Diane volunteers her wrist, then her neck, then her ass.. she's having fun with all this

They're all shouting and screaming, inside & outside the house (Adria's in bed)
They go for Karen.. Nik says they should use the zapper on the girls' nipples and the guys' balls.. Cowboy takes safety precautions (odd ones for electricity, but he's making an effort).. Nik did her nipples (which I didn't see).. Drew did a testicle

They get pretty rowdy.. bets were made over cards and booze about people going into the pool nekkid, showering for show, etc.. Drew is the only who seems adamant the bets be paid off (the girls lost)

Diane rehashes to Drew her same gripes about Adria being a bitch, Drew not standing up for her.. would he vomit for her like Jase did for Holly? Would they eat vomit for each other? Marvin passes by, keeping his distance

The girls go inside and make drunken guacamole again.. Nik cuts her finger.. they talk about how "out of control Marvin's gotten".. Diane's nightmare has escalated to Marvin trying to rape her in it.. Diane says "I don't wanna do it, but we have to backdoor him: it's the only way".. Nik & Karen agree

The guys stay outside and talk about sex.. Marvin says they should send strippers or hookers in for a night.. Drew is not backing off or acting offended at all.. he says it's so hard "not getting any in here, and all the hormones!"

Marv: I need to get me some ass
Drew: The thing is, they're all pretty drunk tonight too
Drew: If Nakomis had long hair, lost a little weight, if she dressed nice.. she'd be ok
Marv: She wouldn't be Nakomis then!

Later Cowboy talks first to Diane - agreeing to go with the backdoor plan - then to Drew, offering to be a neutral third party if they want to talk things over

Diane: Me & Drew aren't about the game! And he says he doesn't want to show it cuz he's scared of Marvin?? And then Adria butts in!!
Cowboy: You gotta learn to hold your tongue.. I want to sit you down and talk to you both
Diane: I know exactly how i feel about this kid.. NOTHING ABOUT HIM GETS ON MY NERVES!

Diane: I have nightmares every day about Marvin raping me.. Drew feels the same way

Cowboy gives Drew some good advice

Cowboy: You need to apologize, don't make it about you.. she's got some problems, some bad stuff in her past.. she's drunk and upset, she just needs to feel ok tonight
Drew: But when she cusses all the time and acts all cocky, it's not attractive.. I like her when she's cute and girly

Diane storms past them saying no she doesn't want to talk..
Later in bed, Drew tries to open things up.. "Like umm.. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you tonight" but Diane launches into another rehash of the night.. Drew responds about how hard it is for him being in there.. they bring it back to game, Holly, Jase, Scott, and Marvin.. finally they settle down and make out as usual

Diane: I'm stupid, an imbecile, an idiot!
Drew: No you're not
<kiss kiss>
Diane: Sorry I let Adria push my buttons tonight.. I hate that fucking bitch
Diane: I don't want Marvin around anymore, he makes me sick
<kiss>
Drew: You're cute.. you get a cute thing when you get mad
....
Diane: I'm gonna win this thing.. you remember these words, and if you think that's cocky.. oh yea, that's another thing! You didn't have to bust me out for that!
Drew: What?
Diane: I was nice enough to say nothing about you bugged me.. you could have done the same.. instead of telling everyone you think I'm cocky!
Drew: So I'm the one who pissed you off after all.. it's all my fault now! Golly!!
Drew: Men are from Mars, women are from Venus
Drew: Marvin was totally calling me out today to see if I could cook.. obviously nothing I could make would be as good as something he makes!
Drew: I feel like I do whatever he says.. he totally set me up to look bad.. he comes over 'good burgers, Cowboy'.. I'm not trying to take credit or anything, Cowboy did most of it

Diane's nightmare is now up to Marvin chasing her through the Big Brother house, trying to rape her, and she's calling out "Drew! Drew!" but he's nowhere to be found

In a surprising change of strategy, Adria only spoke a few words today - but she made each one count. She watched and waited for her opening, without rushing it, and her patience paid off. With just a few well-chosen words to Diane (and Drew), she scored a direct hit and upped the ante to a new level of psychological warfare we haven't seen before. And why not? She's got nothing to lose at this point. They've got nothing to lose by acknowledging she's alive either.. but hey, 'nothing personal' right?

Cowboy showed some class today (not counting his 'special' nap) by overlooking a nasty personal insult from Diane, and also for letting Drew take credit for work that Cowboy did. Add to that he's stirred up things in a serious way on the Drew/Diane front (which affects everyone at this point).. he likely didn't mean to, but it still counts.

Another meltdown, and none too soon. Diane outdid herself today, taking the trash talk out from behind Adria's and Cowboy's backs and putting it in their faces. To her credit, she felt bad about insulting Cowboy (or so she said) but Adria is just this week's Holly: Diane doesn't function at her best without an antagonist, preferably female, to feel superior to (who's next?) Adria took it to a new level by hitting Diane where it hurts: in her fairytale dream of happy-ever-after with Drew.. I said yesterday I thought that was her vulnerable point, and tonight it indeed looks to be the case. All good and well as hamsters go, worthy of double ups even, but the emotional damage we've been seeing peeks of showed up strong today, and that isn't fun.. she's got a free pass to neutral.

He's fun to watch stumble through ordinary tasks as ineptly as he does, but that's just window dressing.. let's take inventory: The guy had a job to do, let Cowboy do it for him, took the credit himself and didn't even say thanks. Last night he jerks off while Diane kisses & cuddles him for moral support, then rolls over and goes to sleep, talks shit about her all day - and on top of all that he's still hiding out in her pocket while she plays the game for him! All this knowing full well she's falling hard for him, and brushing that aside. But she's getting a little payment at least - she's spinning stories to him while he's yanking and letting him spread them around for her. The toppers: he played hardball about the girls paying off a drunken card bet with nekkidness, and complained to Marvin about being horny and not getting any. After whining all over town about Marvin being sex-obsessed. What an ass.

They're all about 'taking one for the team' and 'nothing personal' but Karen really did take one for them all by being the only one who'd hang with Adria. Winning the veto only intensified the time investment there - and likely dispersed some post-Twingate fallout - but all Karen's going to get for it is a nomination. Emotional basketcase or just playing one on tv? It doesn't matter.. Karen's out-classing all of them on a daily basis.

Marvin laid low today, and it wasn't accidental. He saw the Adria/Diane showdown coming, and he stepped aside and let it happen. He didn't instigate and he didn't prevent, and he still provided comic relief to break the tension at just the right moments. As much as he likes to needle Diane for reaction (she loves it too - don't kid yourself) he handled her sudden drops into seriously painful depths with class and concern, and eased everyone through the awkward moments in a way only Marvin can. He's gotta get in there and smooth his way out of a nomination though, or we'll all be bored to death for the next few weeks.

Nik instigated a whole lot of today's stuff, and it didn't seem like she did it in good spirits. She knows she and Diane aren't going to be best friends after this, and she knows the day's coming soon when they'll have to turn on each other. Maybe she thinks Diane 'won' today's battle with Adria - why else would she keep egging her on? Karen said 'you're like the mean kid in school' - maybe she's just enjoying not being on the receiving end of that.

Reduced to a single but still negative for no show on Saturday - boo!! It didn't help that all hamsters were tucked in by midnight that night either - which isn't CBS's fault - but it made for a double whammy nobody needed on a Saturday night.